Survivor Episode Nine: Is That An Immunity Idol in Your Pocket or Are You Just Happy To Be Here? by Kimmah

Gather ‘round, kids, it’s storytime. Once upon a time there was a new and exciting show called Survivor where contestants were placed in difficult situations, faced with tough physical challenges, and had to resort to eating rats. Many years passed and the show went through many different chapters, some of which were so unpleasant that we cannot even mention them by name. There were a few good guys, some bad guys and a whole boatload of really pathetically shitty characters that defy any literary pigeonhole. The faithful kept tuning in each fall and winter, eagerly awaiting the next chapter of this reality novel, but one day even the most generous fans of the series started wishing that all the characters would be enveloped by molten lava or eaten by crocs and it was then, my children, that Survivor became the stuff that only the truly fearless could still approach and try to dissect—rather like Beckett or Nietzsche, only without the air of literary snobbery. I, of course, am one of them and thus, am forced to try to make some sort of sense out of the general dumbassedness that is the case of Survivor: Guatemala, The Mayan Empire Doesn’t Strike Back Quickly Enough. As my subject matter is so limited, I am forced, albeit not unwillingly, to resort to using foul language and other sundry unpleasantries when telling this tale, so at this point, children should stop reading. I’ve got an image to protect, after all.

The characters, whom you are more than familiar with, are all part of one big happy tribe that I will call Xanadu because frankly, I can’t spell or pronounce the other ungodly bastardazation that they created on their own. Why, why, why does EMB still let them do this? Who thinks that these tribal names are cute or creative or even remotely interesting? It’s like an exercise that I would use in my 12th grade English class….wait a minute, I DO use this exercise in my 12th grade English class. And my kids end up with team names like KaDunkADunk and Froot Loopians, which aren’t that much different than Xanadu when you get right down to it.

What was my point? Oh, yeah, the competitors are all on one big happy team, only of course, they aren’t. There is a clear division between the Old Blues and the Old Yellers (again, I’m terrible with the tribe names this time around). They’ve split into factions—one group of six and the other is a measly three. Can you say Pagong? Why yes, yes you can. Last week the Old Yellers voted out Old McBrandon the farmer from Kansas who was actually starting to grow on me in a non-fungal sort of way. This was certain doom for poor Brandon. Now this leaves the Old Blues team with only Gary HogenWhotheHellAreYou, DanniManny, and Booby Jon: not exactly what I would call a brain trust, so the chances of a turn around are slim, but I’ve been wrong. Once. I think. The Old Yellers have the god awful JuddtheHellUp, Lydia-Who-Looks-So-Much-Like-An-Oompa-Loompa-I-Can-Barely-Acknowledge-Her-Presence, TnJamie (if you have not read my local newspaper’s message board, then Jamie’s name will make no sense to you, but trust me on this one—it’s perfectly perfect in every perfect way and essentially translates to asshole. Just ask TJ or Mog), CindyLouWHO?, StephAnnoysMe, and RafeisSafe.

XANADU Night 21

TnJamie and Booby Jon argue about who has class and who doesn’t. This leads TnJamie to deduce that BJ thinks he is white trash. DING, DING, DING! There are only a few Southernisms that TnJamie and Bj fling about that I understand, but this one? I know and yes, TnJamie, you are certainly white trash by pretty much every definition of it and then some. JuddtheHellUp and RafeisSafe intervene and try to play peacemaker, and this totally annoys me because I would really like nothing more than to see these two goombas beat the ever loving shit out of each other in night vision, but sadly, it’s not to be. JuddtheHellUp encourages TnJamie not to “go to bed angry” which is sort of an alarming statement to me. See, here down South, we use that phrase to mean that one shouldn’t go to bed “with” someone as in “with” winkwink, but maybe that’s one of those idioms that loses something in the translation being as JuddtheHellUp is a Yankee and all…or maybe TnJamie and Booby Jon have been reliving some Deliverance moments out behind the shelter. Who knows. I’m sure as hell not going to let my mind wander there any further. At some point, after much belaboring of many white trash and classless points and TnJamie whining that his heart had been broken by Booby Jon (I’m thinking that maybe there really is something more to their relationship the more I type), they finally agree to suck each…I mean shake hands and make out, er up and things are all peachy in Xanadu. Yeah, right.

XANADU Day 22

That scary small woman is cooking breakfast and it is…CORN! Woohoooo! More corn. You know that they have to be so sick of corn that they could just puke and JuddtheHellUp basically says as much as he turns down breakfast (in hindsight, he could have used every little bit food in his stomach to absorb some of that alchohol he guzzled later, but hindsight is 20/20, right?) Based on past Survivors, I half expect Jeffy to pop out of the jungle and give them a surprise buffet breakfast because these guys have been rather scant in the food department. No one is even gaining weight—what a concept. He doesn’t, though, so instead, we’re just treated to more ‘round the camp moaning and bitching about the food and then Old Yeller pats themselves on the back as they gloat about being in the majority. Ah, hubris. Always fun. Too damn bad that there is not a damn thing the Timid Trio can do about it. StephAnnoysMe is particularly bitchy and I want to smack her.

The idol is the center of attention, as well it should be. DanniManny and Booby are all a twitter about finding it. In a deep and insightful moment, Booby Jon tells us that he needs to find the idol. Um, hello Captain Obvious. You think??? Really? You’re one of three against six and you think you might need to find immunity. I’ll be dayumed. He and DanniManny wander around the woods looking for it using the oh-so-helpful clue “it is visible” and, I know you’re surprised, they don’t find it. Hard to believe, isn’t it?

Meanwhile Gary HogenWhotheHellAreYou? is also looking for the idol. He regales us with a story about what a fantabulous football player he was back in the day and how he once threw for like 2,000 yards in one quarter to bring his team back from certain defeat at the hands of the Nashville Pop Warner Champions of 1985 and how he will approach this game the same way. Yada, yada, whatthefuckever, Gary. I, like the vast majority of people around the world, have never heard of him until this show and have no clue about anything that he ever accomplished in the game of football, so I checked into this little factoid of his. From what I can gather, and I could be wrong, he did throw for gobzillion yards in a game against Detroit once upon a time, but? He lost the game. Ooopsey. Stoopid facts.

Thankfully, we are spared from watching the rest of the damned tribe wander around the woods and hunt for a six-inch hunk of clay in the middle of the jungle (next season: the Survivors have to watch for hidden messages to appear as paint dries) and the splintered pack heads off to a reward challenge. This challenge involves throwing DanniManny as far as they can toward a large stake in the center of a volcano. /end dream. Okay, so they are using some indigenous Mayan tool that looks suspiciously like a gigantic crochet hook to fling arrows at a stake that looks like a croquet pole-thingy only without the stripes that is in the middle of a bunch of circles, sort of like a bullseye.

The reward is food, naturally, because I’ve just pondered how poorly they’ve been eating. But, because this is Survivor, Jiffy won’t just give ONE person food, oh-no-sirree-Bob. He’s going to give them ALL food, but some of it is just going to suck. The winner of the challenge gets the best meal—steak and lobster (what would a vegetarian do?). The loser gets the worst meal, presumably shit on a cracker and a glass of blood, but Jiffy keeps us in suspense as only he can. Instead of letting the winner be a complete asshole and assign the meals to the others and paint a big ol’ target on his/her back, this time, the meals are determined by the finishing place in the contest. I think this sucks. I like seeing the winner get fucked over on his own reward, but I’m a bitch that way.

The incredibly slow process of watching all nine of these fuckwits crochet an arrow at a croquet pole-thingy begins. This is a challenge that I would have enjoyed much more when they were down to say, five people or so. Nine of ANYTHING is too much to sit through. Thank God for fast forward. JuddtheHellUp flings first and, because the food gods are smiling on him, he makes a good throw. StephAnnoysMe is impressed and visibly worried. I want to smack her. Booby goes next and he is just pathetic, but what can you expect from an Alabama boy? They all suck. RafeisSafe is next and he harbors no illusions about winning—he’s just hoping to be in the middle somewhere (I could make a really inappropriate comment about him, Booby Jon and TnJamie about right now, but I won’t because I’m better than that). He gets his wish. A blonde girl comes up to throw next…oh, it’s CindyLouWho? She gives the crochet hook a mighty heave and comes sooo very close to beating Judd, but she doesn’t, so she’s back to being no one again. Up next is Lydia-Loompa who sucks so incredibly badly at this event that Booby Jon nearly throws her to the ground and gives her a thank-you fuck right there in the middle of the dirt for saving him from complete and total disgrace. I think she might have thrown it about 2 feet 3 inches. Maybe. DanniManny is next and, in no surprise to anyone, she is more of a man than Rafe is and ends up in third. Then Gary comes along and he manages to out throw Rafe, too, but he doesn’t win despite what the commercial tried to make all the uninformed Survivor watchers think. Just when I’m about to slip into a g.d. coma from the sheer monotony of it all, TnJamie steps up and does his deal with the arrow and ends up in fourth. Instead of taking his place and pointing and jeering at Booby as any true man of the South would do, he asks Jeff if he can forfeit his place in line, put on a hair shirt, lash himself with a cat-o-nine-tails and drink tobasco sauce for being such a complete ass at the Pot-on-Your-Head challenge the day before. I’m sure that in his own head TnJamie thought he sounded sincere, but to the rest of the free world, he sounded like a whiney-ass, twangy Eddie Haskell. Jeff lets him bump to the end and TnJamie is relegated to the shit on a cracker spot and everyone applauds him like he’s the frigging Pope or something. He makes some yappy comment about them all being part of one world, one peace or some such nonsense that no one other than Booby Jon believes and Jeff rubs his face all in the fact that he’s given up good food to eat crap.

This is where the commercials happen, but unlike some of those other writers who are able to actually watch them, I spend commercial breaks running after my children and/or going to the bathroom and generally avoiding crisis. This particular commercial break was the time when I had to go brush teeth for the two small children and then force the smallest child to gargle with his fluoride rinse. FYI, that would be a great Survivor challenge because five-year-olds don’t really much care for that stuff and it’s rather like making a cat take medicine. This takes up the entire break.

And fin.al.ly they got to dinner. They are taken to a traditional Mayan resort where tables are decked out with all sorts of hoopty-do. Judd is given his own special little table, where we all know he will not be dining alone. No way, but we play along. Jiffy announces the food and points out that the dogs that are wandering around live there, so they aren’t part of the reward, which sort of disappointed me in a really macabre sort of way.

The Rewards

Judd: steak and lobster and an open bar
Cindy: chicken and veggies and white wine
Danni: Spaghetti and red wine
Steph: Burger and beer
Gary: One tiny piece of pizza and a Coke
Rafe: Ham and cheese sandwich and milk (gag!!)
Bobby Jon: Baked potato and ice water
Lydia: Fish and water
Jamie: Ramone nuts and brown water that’s been boiled, but is still nasty looking

Then, because it’s Survivor and JuddtheHellUp is sitting at that table with plenty of extra room, Jeffy tells him that he can invite two people to sit with him and share his open bar and food and a dessert menu choice. His first choice was a bit surprising—instead of the obvious TnJamie, he picked Booby Jon. TnJamie was visibly disappointed, but really, who the fuck would pick someone with a bowl of funky nuts to share a meal with? JuddtheHellUp is dumb as a log, but he’s a big guy who knows his food and a baked potato is the obvious choice to go with steak and lobster. Duh. I’m secretly hoping he will pick Lydia-Loompa because I think she would be a funny drunk, but instead JuddtheHellUp picks StephAnnoysMe who is near tears as she waits to hear her name called. You’d have thought it was the effing Miss America pageant to see the tension on her face as she waited for JuddtheHellUp to blather on with his intro before he finally just said her damn name.

The meal drags on just like everything else on this damn show and JuddtheHellUp gets shitfaced drunk and takes Booby Jon along for the ride while Gary WhotheHellAreYou gets more and more annoyed as he watches the frivolity and makes JuddtheHellUp and Co. feel guilty, so they just get drunker and drunker, swilling vodka and cranberry juice—light on the cranberry juice.

Back at camp, JuddtheHellUp is a big drunken glob who is tripping and falling all over the place and the rest of the tribe sits back and watches him because, really, what could they do? He’s three times the size of the rest of them and ten times as loud. He confesses to Booby Jon that he loves him, “like a fat kids loves cake” which makes TnJamie’s ears perk up considerably and leads Booby to smirk around his giant cigar that he’s puffing on ifyouknowwhatImean. Then Booby Jon finally does something that I recognize as truly Southern. He decides that he needs to burn a giant “stump” which in reality is a 45-foot tree. This is what drunk Southern men do—they play with fire and they burn large pieces of wood. Bonfires, campfires, brushfires. This? is Southern. All that other crapola that TnJamie and Booby Jon were yammering about when they were bumping chests and mumbling unintelligibly were regional, but alcohol + fire + large pieces of wood? That’s universally Southern. If only they’d had a potato gun, it would have been like our last cookout, but I digress.

XANADU Day 23

The drunks slept and have now risen from the funk to face the day. JuddtheHellUp was a messy drunk—who would have ever thought that he might be a puker after all that beer and vodka? What a putz. He puked in the shelter, which must have smelled vile beyond words since he’d eaten steak and lobster and God-knows-what for dessert. He tries to deny the in-shelter-vomiting, but the evidence is there (and we are forced to see it) and he can’t lie his way out of that one, so he just comes back with the ever-so-quick-witted “Oh”.

I neglected to mention part of the reward challenge earlier, so this is as good a place as any to mention it. The winner of the flinging, JuddtheHellUp, was given a clue to the location of the Hidden Immunity Idol. By “clue to the location”, though, they mean very vague idea of a boundaryish sort of place to look. It’s not like it said “Go 10 paces past the big ass stump”. The clue essentially says that the idol is not on the ground. Judd is the worst secret keeper in the history of secrets, so he immediately goes to tell StephAnnoysMe. He says it’s because he can’t keep a secret, but I actually think it was because he couldn’t figure out the nursery rhyme clue that he was given. He reads it to her in his singsong Yankee accent and she instantly tells him that it isn’t on the ground and you can almost hear the wheels spinning in his head and the lightbulb coming on. Then, because he’s not drawn enough attention to himself sitting there reading frigging poetry to StephAnnoysMe, he stumbles down to the rest of the tribe and tells them that the clue says the idol is “most definitely, really, positively, surely on the ground, really man, no doubt about it, it’s on the ground. Absolutely.” Incredibly, they appear to believe him. Do none of them have children? JuddtheHellUp breaks every rule of effective lie-telling in the book and they all sit there with goofy grins on their faces and thank him for sharing his information with them. Dumbasses deserve to be wandering around looking at their feet for the next three days.

More commercials, which means that I have to go find the child that has escaped from his bed and put him back and then go tuck the other one in and do his dream ritual which seems to be longer on Thursdays than any other day of the week. Naturally, as soon as I walk out of the room, one of them has to pee, so we’re off to the bathroom and then back and have to repeat the tucking process. It never fails. By then, we’re back from commercials and…

This is where I get a little bit lost because I find it so hard to believe that there are actually people that are this stupid who walk around and function in the real world, but evidently TnJamie is just that fucking dumb and, poor thing, he’s not even good looking. Dumb and ugly as a mud fence. He’s from Georgia, though, so I don’t know why I expected more. Anyway, he and RafeisSafe have some ego-stroking moment where they assure each other that they haven’t strayed from their plans and then TnJamie goes and has a conversation with Gary HogenWhotheHellAreYou that he gets totally and completely twisted around. There are those in the land of Survivor analysis who think that TnJamie was just playing the game, but I don’t think so. I think the poor dumb mofo just didn’t have a damn clue what Gary HogenWhotheHellAreYou was saying to him because he used big words and no drawl and didn’t slap him on the ass or bump chests with him. Essentially, Gary told him that he, Gary, would vote for whomever the Old Yellers told him to including Booby Jon, since that’s who TnJamie said was the next to go. Gary HogenWhotheHellAreYou should have spent some of those NFL dollars on some orthodontia to clear up that underbite and make his speech a little bit clearer and MAYBE TnJamie wouldn’t have been so totally bumfuzzled when Gary spoke in low, mumbly tones. I don’t know how it got so totally and completely clusterfucked, but it did and TnJamie went running to StephAnnoysMe instantly to tell her that Gary WhotheFuckDoesHeThinkHeIs said he was going to vote for TnJamie. Now, StephAnnoysMe is sort of a bonehead at times, but she is generally a pretty levelheaded player in times of calm and why in the hell she listened to Mr. Rocks for Brains, I cannot even imagine, but she did and didn’t tell him that he was insane. She then reveals in her interview that she thinks TnJamie is a little bit whacked in the head (uh, duh) and that she can’t trust him.

Tree mail comes

Walk the Line- it’s a really cool movie
Watching it would really be groovy.
Instead you’re stuck here to walk on a rail.
You know you could go if you should fail.

The always-quick tribers figure out that this challenge doesn’t appear to involve fighting, much to my dismay, and seems to involve walking on balance beams. People begin to practice—there is a definite relationship to the amount of practice and the place in the pecking order. Gary HogenWhotheHellAreYou and DanniManny are like little ants going back and forth and back and forth on the edge of the ruins. Meanwhile, TnJamie wanders around in his mind and pretends that Gary said he was going to vote against Jamie. Lydia-Loompa tells Jamie he’s a dumbass. I like her a little bit more.

The challenge is a series of balance beams. All nine of them start out on beams in Phase 1 and have to untie two planks as they make their way across the beam. Then, in Phase 2, they have to use the planks to cross a rope bridge. Then, in Phase 134, the final 2 walk across a rope bridge to the finish line. As I’m looking at this, I’m thinking that the final leg looks to be the easiest by far and I’m also wondering how long it actually takes Jiffy to explain these multi-stage challenges to them in real time. You know that he doesn’t just rattle off the rules in 30 seconds or less to someone like TnJamie who still thinks Gary is going to vote for him. I can only imagine how painful that process must be.

“Jeff, how many people start off the race?”

“Nine, Jamie.”

“How do we figure out who gets to go first?”

“You all start at the same time.”

“But who gets to go first?”

“Jamie, when I say ‘Go!’, you’ll all start at the same time.”

“Oh, okay. I see. But how do we get to pick which four get to do the next round first?”

“The winners of the balance beam race are the only ones who get to do the plank bridge.”

“What’s the balance beam race?”

And people wonder why Jeffy might be considering giving up his job. Heh.

The challenge begins. As challenges go, this one is medium hard and medium entertaining. It’s still nine frigging people, so it’s hard to get too excited about it, but since they’ve been prone to making them stand on poles at this stage in the past, I’m not going to complain too much. Also, the weeding out is a good thing, but I’d like to have the ability for the audience to pick and choose, sort of like American Idol. I think that would make it much more interesting, but no one asked me. When Jiffy says the now familiar, “Survivors Ready, GO!” and, they actually all go, but not with the same measure of success. I have to stop here, though, and ask what in the world is Jeff doing with his arms when he says go? Has anyone every really watched this? It’s like he’s trying to make a turn signal (I never did learn whether it was left or right that you put your arm up) or hail a cab or something, but it in no way indicates “go” to me whatsoever.

They streak out across the beams at a rate of about 1 inch per minute. Blazing. They are faced almost instantly with a plank that they have to untie, so we get lots of tight shots of Surivivors struggling with knots because we know it ain’t a challenge unless there’s a knot. TnJamie chooses to tackle the beam with his crotch and I’ll just leave it at that. StephAnnoysMe ends up tackling the beam with her chest, shoulder and almost her face, but instead puts her face on the ground and has to go back and start again. The others make adequate forward progress (AFP in educational lingo) as Jeff tells us in ridiculously minute detail, which includes using the word “scooch” to describe RafeisSafe’s method of crossing the beam with his crotch. Booby falls off and goes back. JuddtheHell’s toe touches the ground and has to go back . Finally, Steph makes it across followed by Gary, Jamie and Rafe.

Phase 2, the planks of death. In this leg of the race, height is a disadvantage evidently because Gary sucks at it. He looks like Bambi on the ice as he tries to make his way across and never really gets a rhythm. Rafe, on the other hand, fairly flies across the bridge followed by Jamie and then Steph, but only two can advance, so Steph is booted out and the final two are Rafe and Jamie. I have to admit, I wouldn’t have picked these two as my final two—neither of them look as if they would be able to balance on a sidewalk, much less a balance beam, so I’m duly impressed.

Phase 3 is the rope bridge that I thought looked fairly easy—certainly easier than Phase 2. It is this phase that brings us to the ultimate Survivor cinematography moment of the year.





A picture is worth 1,000 words, so I’ll spare you the details of how Jamie smoked Rafe on this one and ended up winning. Just look at the picture and laugh some—it and Stephanie nearly crushing her rib cage were the only glee to be found in this challenge.

More commercials—this means it’s time to send the oldest kid to the showers. He’s 12. You can imagine how excited he is about this prospect.

Back at camp, TnJamie is still living in Delusion Land where people with terrible underbites speak in tongues and he convinces StephAnnoysMe that Gary HogenWhotheHellAreYou should go next. StephAnnoysMe is very Sandraesque and essentially doesn’t care who it is as long as it isn’t her—let TnJamie be the “brains” of the operation and do the dirty work. She does reveal that she would have liked to have chucked TnJamie had he not won immunity, which makes me like her a teensy bit more. The Old Yellers plot out Gary’s demise and talk on and on and on about what a threat Gary is, how the game is going according to plan, etc. This is like a gigantic red flag and neon arrow alerting us that Gary ain’t going anywhere this week. All you fans of supposedly-once-famousNFL-“quarterbacks” with serious orthodontia issues can breathe a sigh of relief.

Gary HogenWhotheHellAreYou pulls StephAnnoysMe over to the side and point blank asks her if he is the one that they are going to send home and she, like JuddtheHellUp is a terrible liar. She tells him no. Now Gary seemed to believe JuddtheHellUp about the clue, but he’s not as sold on StephAnnoysMe’s assertion that he’s not going home tonight, although he plays along with her. As soon as they part, he confesses that he really needs the Hidden Immunity Idol and begins searching for it all over again.

Booby Jon decides that he better go and try to save his sorry ass since, well, he’s screwed. He approaches TnJamie and JuddtheHellUp and tries to suggest to them that they vote out Gary StephAnnoysMe? The hell? Why he thinks they are going to turn on someone whose ass they are so far up they can’t see straight, I can’t even imagine, but he throws out this idea to them. He makes a fair argument, but of course, they aren’t about to kick out their sure-thing vote, so Booby Jon is basically talking to himself, which is probably what he does a great deal of the time. They do tell him that he is not the one going home tonight, so he feels a little bit better.

Cut to Gary HogenWhotheHellAreYou spying on JuddtheHellUp as he looks for the Hidden Immunity Idol. The fatal flaw in Judd’s lie, of course, was that he has to look for the immunity idol, too, and if he’s looking UP, then people are going to wonder why he told them it was on the ground, which is exactly what Gary does (although I have my doubts that Jamie would have ever caught on in a similar situation). I have to admit that I found myself liking Gary HogenWhotheHellAreYou a bit more after this one. I also enjoyed JuddtheHellUp looking up at the trees like he thought they were going to speak to him. He could have been out there every day for the next five years and that dumb galoot wouldn’t have found the idol even if it was flashing neon and under the Star of Bethlehem.

StephAnnoysMe and RafeisSafe discuss the fact that Gary HogenWhotheHellAreYou is out searching for the idol and that it would be “amazing” if he actually managed to find it. /end obvious clues that GARY IS NOT GOING HOME!!!!!

WHAM! We’re at TC and Jeff starts in with his questions. Blah, blah, Do you feel threatened by my mere presence, blah blah, who is this blonde girl that never speaks? blah, blah, paranoia, blah, blah chopping block, blah, blah who do you trust blah blah…and then Jeff asks Gary and Judd if they’ve ever told lies and they both say no, but where Gary says, “No, I’m really a landscaper who has never played in the NFL and my last name is Hawkins” and leaves it at that, Judd has diarrhea of the mouth and says, “No, not me, I wouldn’t do that, what do you mean? Me? Why do you ask me that? You know something, Jeff?” as his eyes nearly pop out of his head and he breaks out into a cold sweat. Again, Judd? Worst.liar.ever.

The biggest moment of Tribal Council is now upon us. Forget the damn vote, it’s time to find out if anyone has found the Hidden Immunity Idol. Insert drumroll here----> Cut to quick shots of all the players’ faces looking tense and noncommittal. The moment is drawn out as long as possible and jusssst as you think no one could have found it (unless you have ever watched Survivor before), Gary starts digging in his backpack and pulls out the little sucker as Stephannoys me twangs something that sounds vaguely like “Wow, Bobby Jon, you’re fucked.” I want to smack her. JuddtheHellUp looks like he was just kicked in the crotch and I giggle.


Jeffy doesn’t give them any time to talk—he sends everyone off to vote immediately. Booby Jon is toast. Too bad the Hidden Idol didn’t come out later when there wasn’t such an obvious second choice vote because it would have been fun to see what happened when the plan fell apart at the last second, but the only person who seemed surprised at what happened when the votes were tallied was Booby as he garnered 6 votes, Steph got 2 and Cindy was tossed 1 vote from Gary.

Commericals again and now I have to go yell at the kid who is still in the shower and tell him to get OUT of the shower. Once he gets in, he seems to think he should take up residence. Then, because it’s Thursday, the youngest child is up demanding a drink of water and pleading for just one more snuggle. *sigh*

Next time on Survivor:

Gary HogenWhotheHellAreYou tries to have an argument based in fact with TnJamie, which should prove to be totally futile. The Survivors do everytyhing short of fuck a corpse in order to win the best.reward.ever! And Lydia-Loompa has to decide something, which means she’s going to get more camera time which means that I’m probably going to be taking longer pee breaks.

  ¶ 11:19 PM